I saw my OB last week. I presented my research articles to her. She was initially agreeing with the idea of only using baby aspirin in my next pregnancy. I explained to her that this could be my last chance and I wasn’t willing to get pregnant if I couldn’t protect my child. She agreed that we will start lovenox a week before my transfer! I was supposed to start baby aspirin right away, but I forgot until I started writing this.
Last week was the bike rally and we went out to three venues to sell tickets for Harley for Hope. We now have about 72 tickets left. I am nervous that it might be difficult to get these sold. Anytime I have to count on people besides myself I get nervous.
Things with my husband are still strained. There’s been a lot of fighting and avoiding going on around here. I am working on getting us into counseling. He has agreed to go, but says he doesn’t think it helps him. It’s stressing me out. We don’t communicate with one another very effectively.
Despite the fact that I’m feeling anxiety about selling tickets and my marriage, I feel like other areas of my life are better than they have been in awhile. I used to have a major issue with being alone. Now I choose to be alone at least 75% of the time. I guess in a normal person that might be unhealthy, but since it used to upset me I think it’s pretty great. I am trying to figure out what makes me happy and what I want to be doing. I have made my bedroom my spot to relax. It is the only area of the house that is as clean as I would like and the only place I can lay down when my fibromyalgia acts up. My husband has been sleeping on the couch for awhile now. He started sleeping there when I was pregnant. I have problems sleeping and couldn’t take anything to help while pregnant and his snoring drove me crazy. After Caleb died he slept in the bed with me for awhile. But recently, he’s back on the couch and I don’t know why.
I recently received my acceptance to graduate school. I’m still figuring out what my life will be like in this new phase. I’m job hunting, but I don’t want to settle. And part of me wants to take some time to paint and read-all the things I love but never make time to do. Plus, I would need to be taking time for doctor’s appointments once we get the money to do the FET. I guess I’m a little bit lost right now. It’s hard to make decisions when talking with my husband ends up in a fight almost every time.
finallypregnant2012 
I’m overjoyed to read your doctor agreed!!!! Continue to fight and know you have support (even if you don’t know me) 🙂
Frickin men. Seriously, they all act the same. Can you ask him to come to bed because you like how safe it makes you feel to have him next to you at night…even if its a lie and even if it means you wear earplugs…while it is sooooooo much easier to just coexist independently in the same house ( you in your bedroom turning to blogs and online for virtual support because you’re not getting any from your husband, him zoning out and distracting from his feelings and your sadness with tv,internet, gaming perhaps porn ) you need to start removing the distance between you two literally and figuratively otherwise you’ll be in an even bigger fat mess later on.